These aren't secrets, but I haven't told anyone either.
I may sound bipolar but I mostly just write about really great things or really bad things. Extremes, right?
I promise my feelings are continuous over the real emotions.

Friday, June 7, 2013

I finally sleep and then this happens



Just had a wild dream.
It began in the woods. A woman was running away from her husband. She waited in a field, and another person wearing clothing that covered every inch of their body brought two horses. It became known to me that this woman was black, while the other was white. There was a hint of romantic involvement. As they prepared to leave a bigot (not her husband) surprised them and was about to kill the runaway who had stayed behind to let the other woman escape…
Suddenly I’m in a cabin with a younger version of Ali. We talk about her future, and how she wants to be cool and popular. Our clothes both keep falling off, but we just put them back on and keep talking. I am amused by her ambition, and she recognizes this but still plans to succeed…
I am at gymnastics class. The high-powered mothers and skinny blond daughters mill around while the former talks and the latter stretches. It looks like a summer camp. I realize that I’m wearing the black and white sheer skirt I bought just before leaving the States. I ask my mother to trade clothes we me, as she is wearing black yoga pants, but when we do her pants become a black skirt again….
We are watching a comedy/documentary about a man who found a seedy bar and turned it into a novelty experience bar.  There are old things, red shiny booth seats, and mirrors everywhere. Suddenly I am in the bar, with Ray and some strangers. One is a man who is too drunk and has a large black bag. Another man is skinny and quiet, and a woman is lean and dark haired. As the drunk man stands up to go to the bathroom, the woman goes through his bag and takes some money, but not all of it. We laugh nervously and don’t tell him about the theft when he returns…
Ray and I are in the hallway outside of the bathroom. The dark lean woman is talking to Corinne and they go into the bathroom together. As they enter I say “NO!” I’m worried that Corinne will be robbed. Ray panics and takes me outside. He tells me that she is a very dangerous woman and might come after me for almost blowing her cover. It is dark and he leaves me outside, telling me he will go and assess the situation. Liana is drunk against a wall and beckons me over and starts to talk loudly but I beg her to be quiet as I wait for news. As we wait I notice there are other people: Ellie and a few unnamed bodies. Ray comes out and tells me to run.
We all start running, but I am out of breath and grab Liana and Ellie’s arms. Liana pulls me up but Ellie stumbles. We leave her behind and keep running. I am still out of breath, so I stop to hide by some trees in a clump in a parking lot.  The woman walks into view and scans the parking lot. Several times I am sure that she is about to leave, but something stops her. Finally she sees me. My black clothes have somehow become that pink and blue floral dress with the new velvet addition on the sleeve, and they betray me. We make eye contact, and I shake my head. She shakes her head too. I walk out to meet her, like the woman in the field. I say that Corinne is my friend, and she nods as if she understands. I suddenly know that Ray betrayed me, lied to her about the extent of my divulgence, and told her how to look for me. I also think that this woman may not be human.
I wake up, wondering why I didn’t wake until I had surrendered.

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