Holy shit. Last night/Yesterday... I don't even know. Don't let the title fool you. It was amazing. And everything felt just a little bit fated.
I finished class at 11 am. Yup, the last class of the semester. What. A semester is gone. What. I could not even believe.
So, to make up for that I thought about my French final a lot. I was thinking really intensely. Just, so much thought. The writing didn't actually begin until today at 1... But boy did I consider it.
Then I goofed off and ate and stretched and let my brain turn off. You know, it just feels good to have a moment alone with your liberty and relax.
That was the last moment.
I was convinced that aerial started at 3pm. Then, when no one was there, I showed up again at 3:30 pm. At that point, I assumed it was canceled. By random happenstance, I see the theatre history class in a geurilla presentation of their final projects. I follow them to their french classical theatre production in the squash courts, where freshman and other lower class citizens must take balcony seats. From our balcony seats, we heckle and wolf whistle and basically have a kickin' time.
Then I was faced with a decision. To go to physics seminar, or to not go to physics seminar. Perhaps I have told you of my interest in chaos? Perhaps... oh wait, maybe I didn't tell you how that missed connection I wrote turned out... Anyways, I'll do that later. Well, it was my missed connection's presentation of his physics thesis on CHAOTIC PENDULUMS bestillmyheart, but I was afraid to go and look creepy. I got over that fear, and went, and ate a cookie, and learned a little bit.
Then I was gripped by a sudden urge to visit the thesis tower and read Nick Tuffilaro's thesis, which is also about chaotic pendulums, but a little more (way more) old school. It was pretty awesome. Full of silly quotations and nonsense. Then, I decided to read Frank's thesis on electric fish BUT WAIT, in the introduction he thanks MORRIS WRIGHT for being super chill, also helpful. That means that I had the first name and last name of the person who wrote the thesis on how honey drizzles. Before this, I knew the author as "Mo." Excellent.
Well, there was some confusion because her first name is secretly Catherine, but I found it, and flipped through it, and it was great.
And my missed connection happened to be studying in the thesis tower too. I swear I did not know that pile of cool stuff was his. What. Fate. No really, that shit was awesome. Laurels, an apple, sketch books, physics books... Kids at Reed create study environments like fucking pros. Because they are pros at studying, I guess.
Then, I walk back towards the SU, where I find aerial people setting up the rig. What? Yeah, I was off by an hour, it started at 4:30. Anyways, I ended up helping out, and climbing because I think I'm finally over the hump with mono. Then, my missed connection comes and plays for a sec. He's gonna start coming all the time next semester. Crazy. Also, I did awesome tricks. One particularly exciting trick which was brought on by a desire to show off actually ended up getting really exciting when my legs went a full 360 degrees over my head instead of the prescribed 180. It was exciting, and I didn't die. I love aerial.
Then, we packed up and I went to get ready for the parties. Clothing was scanty, to say the least. Mascara was overused, to put it mildly.
First, the Quest party. We drank beer and wine to celebrate our achievements. I mostly giggled with Sasha and flirted a little bit with... well, a lot of them. It was fun, but I emerged with a mass of red letters on my legs. I can decipher 'cunt' quite clearly, but the rest is a mess. I got rather tipsy. Remember how I decided I didn't have mono? Well, that makes it okay to drink now, because my liver will not be fucked up, because I don't have mono anymore. This is when 'mistakes' enter the picture. I mean, I'm still alive, it just probably wasn't completely responsible.
Then we went to Chittick. It got less responsible.
For a while, I was mostly just dancing around, whatever, super drunk. Then, I started pole dancing on a support beam for the building. At that point, Liana comes up to me and says "I don't care if I get mono."
Well.
So, I decided I also didn't have enough mono to keep me from kissing people. So, I had a little fun.
One element of my fun was particularly AWESOME. I kissed the guy who dresses as Hunter S. Thompson so convincingly. It was the most very awesomest. I kept telling people "oh man, I really wanna just go bite his neck" and they were all like "do it, do it!" and I was nervous. But then I felt particularly sexy for a moment and tapped him on the shoulder and said "you're so beautiful" and then I kissed him. It was a really nice protracted one too.
This morning he said "thanks for the kiss last night" and I said "you're welcome, anytime." Still not sure if that was the correct response. I mean, it was true, just probably not socially appropriate.
Then I went home at about 1 am, but I couldn't sleep till 5. I was really drunk, and felt kind off. I drank a lot of water, and my eyes aren't yellow so I think I'm okay.
Good start to finals week? Fuck yeah.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
Procrastination
Hey, while I was not reading Thucydides (who is great, by the way, my attention span is just a shriveled useless whore) I took down the lyrics of a song I rather like. It's Pork Goulash, a translation of a Czech song, which Jason Webley did. After an hour of work (okay, a selective shriveled useless whore) I have acheived what I believe are approximately the basic lyrics. He changes your to this or feeling to feel me and all sorts of randomness depending on the show. This song was on one of his limited edition CDs, so I pieced it together from Youtube. Someday I'll get off my ass and download an official version.
The song...
The song...
Pork Goulash
Breathing
Here we lie perpendicular breathing
Our breath gives off steam
I trace shapes on the hand behind
Teasing
Punish me once again, tease me
These moments when anger has overthrown reason
Patterns which make our skin
Crawl
Seizures, pleasures, pressure, future, closeness
now we must try to find our way
Throught the nearest open way
Out
And oh.
Your voice, at night, I feel it sets through the air above me
Giant laughter, hung there, sweetly, like a star
Shines in our eyes
Speaking, all you want, there it’s yours
Speaking
Jesus what have you done, love is not pork goulash,
Feeling
My breath and pulse why the rush?
Feel me
This thunder this lighting, these lecherous lapses
This pathetic whining,
Just go
Seizures, pleasures, pressure, future, closeness
now we must try to find our way
Throught the nearest open way
Out
And oh.
Your voice, at night, I feel it sets through the air above me
Giant laughter, hung there, sweetly, like a star
Shines in our eyes
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Spring/Fall is a Beautiful Friday
Yeah, I'll get back to the Owl Fight and stuff.
Spring/Fall 2011 was my first official Thesis Parade. I have mono, so I was unable to make out with random people and drink a lot of alcohol. I did have a swig of champagne though, and somebody bit my neck, so I still quasi-participated in those traditions.
The High Seas theme was mostly appreciated by people who chose alternative interpretations, like a bag of clementines, a boy's Reed GPA, and a girl dressed as carbon. There were some pirates, and sea nymphs also. Mostly people just dressed strangely. I wore my craze skirt-that-is-gypsy-tassels to great effect, for the main activity was dancing to a repetitive drum beat. The drum beat was more impressive because some of the drummers were making out and drumming at the same time, and still others allowed their drums to be manipulated by completely trashed revelers who were not particularly rhythmic. My socks were soon soaked through, which I was not surprised by because it's Oregon, so of course.... Wait, it hasn't rained since Monday... Oh, maybe we just created puddles of CHAMPAGNE outside of the library. Yes, it looked like it had rained. It even convinced me. But when it dried in my hair it was much stickier than rain, so that kinda gave away the apparent weather phenomenon.
Nikole was done with Spring/Fall a bit before I was, but I'm glad I left while I was still having fun because that's how I remember it now. I wrote another 500 words of my Hum paper, which is due in 7 hours, and then played chess with Lyle. I also took the opportunity to show him the musical styling of Lil' B, which he appreciated. Nikole was napping on a proximal couch, but woke up in the middle of "I Look Like Jesus." I imagine that's what it's like to be born during Brechtian play, but I think we'll never know for sure. The evening was a blur of messing with Photobooth, consuming cold pizza and pie and double cold ice cream and dancing in the dome.
Later, Lyle wanted to see the band. They started late though, so we sat in a tree. Good talks. Then he listened to the band and I mono'd, so I left and stargazed for a while and then read comic books to reheat. Everyone has said to read Sandman, so I tried, but I wasn't captivated. I think it's the art that really doesn't click. Anyways, I gave up and read an issue and a half of Transmetropolitain, to remember what it's like to be in love. Because I am the expert on that.
Ahh... It was pretty beautiful. I can't wait for Renn Fayre.
Spring/Fall 2011 was my first official Thesis Parade. I have mono, so I was unable to make out with random people and drink a lot of alcohol. I did have a swig of champagne though, and somebody bit my neck, so I still quasi-participated in those traditions.
The High Seas theme was mostly appreciated by people who chose alternative interpretations, like a bag of clementines, a boy's Reed GPA, and a girl dressed as carbon. There were some pirates, and sea nymphs also. Mostly people just dressed strangely. I wore my craze skirt-that-is-gypsy-tassels to great effect, for the main activity was dancing to a repetitive drum beat. The drum beat was more impressive because some of the drummers were making out and drumming at the same time, and still others allowed their drums to be manipulated by completely trashed revelers who were not particularly rhythmic. My socks were soon soaked through, which I was not surprised by because it's Oregon, so of course.... Wait, it hasn't rained since Monday... Oh, maybe we just created puddles of CHAMPAGNE outside of the library. Yes, it looked like it had rained. It even convinced me. But when it dried in my hair it was much stickier than rain, so that kinda gave away the apparent weather phenomenon.
Nikole was done with Spring/Fall a bit before I was, but I'm glad I left while I was still having fun because that's how I remember it now. I wrote another 500 words of my Hum paper, which is due in 7 hours, and then played chess with Lyle. I also took the opportunity to show him the musical styling of Lil' B, which he appreciated. Nikole was napping on a proximal couch, but woke up in the middle of "I Look Like Jesus." I imagine that's what it's like to be born during Brechtian play, but I think we'll never know for sure. The evening was a blur of messing with Photobooth, consuming cold pizza and pie and double cold ice cream and dancing in the dome.
Later, Lyle wanted to see the band. They started late though, so we sat in a tree. Good talks. Then he listened to the band and I mono'd, so I left and stargazed for a while and then read comic books to reheat. Everyone has said to read Sandman, so I tried, but I wasn't captivated. I think it's the art that really doesn't click. Anyways, I gave up and read an issue and a half of Transmetropolitain, to remember what it's like to be in love. Because I am the expert on that.
Ahh... It was pretty beautiful. I can't wait for Renn Fayre.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Life Slows down on a Sunday Off of Work.
Wow, it's been a long time since I logged an adventure. The logical places to go are fall break, the owl fight, Halloween, Livewire and the afterparty in my immune system (since that one was so recent), and I'm sure I'll think of others. The truth of the matter is that between mono and having more work than before, I've been too lazy to instigate many adventures. Too lazy really means asleep, reading Transmetropolitan, or, you know, working. Yes, what you just read was me admitting to READING FOR PLEASURE WHILE AT REED COLLEGE?!?!?!? Yeah, I know, it's wild. But it's really the only thing that makes me feel better. Kind of like what QC did for me last time I was totally sick. And Transmet is about a futuristic dystopian Hunter S. Thompson. So, yeah, it's mindporn.
I'll just start at fall break. I climbed mountains. I felt very strong. It's capoeira's fault, really. It gives my legs mega strength. Though aerial is giving me some mild ab strength, as I can now do an upsidown straddle with only the teensiest of jumps. Right right, awesome mountains. Yosemite is an unbelievable place. I have not seen other places like it, ever. The scale, and the shapes, and the colors. Plus the fact that for every unbelievable rock face, there was someone out there who had climbed it. Wild. I didn't push myself as hard as I should have, physically I mean, because my mind was elsewhere. Elsewhere namely being in the position of seeing a problem and being asked for input. And having something of an idea of what to do about it.
We can discuss the nature of the problem some other time, but it's unusual that a people problem can be approached from the perspective of one deeply vested in it's positive resolution, but also completely removed from the actual situation. I considered it an opportunity. I hope I helped.
Freakin' San Francisco. Man, I just kinda wandered around in a daze. It's a real city. Portland is way too new, too relaxed. SF is comfortable in its skin, but it's also a little tighter, and faster. Brighter too, but that may have been the fault of sunlight. No, actually, even when it was foggy, and windy and freezing and I was sitting on top of Buena Vista Park looking out at a massive grey cloud floating by... It was a metropolitan zone. The kickin' architecture still peaked/peeked through... Oh, and the Golden Gate Bridge. That was magical, as visual stimuli goes. So many cities, tucked into the land... Augh, I don't know what to feel, even in retrospect! Overwhelmed, I guess.
Oh, and my bald head was well loved in the city. People stopped me in the street to remark on how smokin' hot I was. That always makes me like a city better, in that superficial way that is so obviously the influence of unstable self esteem. That's why I don't hate Toulouse.
Anyways, more adventures to come.
Love.
I'll just start at fall break. I climbed mountains. I felt very strong. It's capoeira's fault, really. It gives my legs mega strength. Though aerial is giving me some mild ab strength, as I can now do an upsidown straddle with only the teensiest of jumps. Right right, awesome mountains. Yosemite is an unbelievable place. I have not seen other places like it, ever. The scale, and the shapes, and the colors. Plus the fact that for every unbelievable rock face, there was someone out there who had climbed it. Wild. I didn't push myself as hard as I should have, physically I mean, because my mind was elsewhere. Elsewhere namely being in the position of seeing a problem and being asked for input. And having something of an idea of what to do about it.
We can discuss the nature of the problem some other time, but it's unusual that a people problem can be approached from the perspective of one deeply vested in it's positive resolution, but also completely removed from the actual situation. I considered it an opportunity. I hope I helped.
Freakin' San Francisco. Man, I just kinda wandered around in a daze. It's a real city. Portland is way too new, too relaxed. SF is comfortable in its skin, but it's also a little tighter, and faster. Brighter too, but that may have been the fault of sunlight. No, actually, even when it was foggy, and windy and freezing and I was sitting on top of Buena Vista Park looking out at a massive grey cloud floating by... It was a metropolitan zone. The kickin' architecture still peaked/peeked through... Oh, and the Golden Gate Bridge. That was magical, as visual stimuli goes. So many cities, tucked into the land... Augh, I don't know what to feel, even in retrospect! Overwhelmed, I guess.
Oh, and my bald head was well loved in the city. People stopped me in the street to remark on how smokin' hot I was. That always makes me like a city better, in that superficial way that is so obviously the influence of unstable self esteem. That's why I don't hate Toulouse.
Anyways, more adventures to come.
Love.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Monday, November 7, 2011
Fall Break
Actually, fall break effected my world view significantly. I'll talk about it sometime, it's kind of emotionally charged.
But on a more relevant note, I'm still sexy with a bald head. That is the general consensus. Sample size... wink.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Saturday when the Chittick Tickle attacks with Full Force
The Chittick Tickle is when everyone at a party gets sick because they were all making out. Named for a dorm on campus, and for the sensation in one's throat after hanging out in the 'playpen' for any amount of time.
I think that I have hit a crucial moment in my social life at Reed. Before now, I had been absorbing into groups and then leaving them, because they weren't right. At this point, I have found people who I think will help me be who I want to be, make my life beautiful, have great adventures, and CHANGE THE WORLD orwhatever. And that means suddenly I actually have to do emotional work again, and invest energy and spirit. Especially with the Chittick Tickle, it's kinda throwing me for a loop.
Just writing this because no one seems to really process what I mean when I talk about it here. They understand that it's more work or something, but I don't think anyone knows me well enough to understand how I approach this sort of business.
Regardless of added deepthinking, it's getting to be really rewarding. It's just weird trying to adjust my MO to create this long term dynamic. Anna, we talked about this before I think. My original approach is not a long term strategy. But that will change. It's not even just for now. At this point I'm getting to know everyone a little better (gotta love a tiny tiny school) and passing interaction pile up. Suddenly we know who the other person is before a real rapport forms, and that requires a different approach. I'm so used to talking to strangers, and that doesn't happen as much.
Well, that's enough introspection for one blog post. I will tell a story, one you may have already heard in some abridged format, but I want to really capture what it is before Sunday, when the missed connections come out and the nature of it is changed forever. Some things are just so much more exciting in the hypothetical.
Jason Webley, October 29th 2011 :
Sasha and I stand in line, waiting to buy tickets and a man brushes past us, excusing himself. I barely see his face.
Later, at the front of the crowd, he brushes by again (yes, his movements are very brushy, not just in the physical sweeping-contact kind of way. But mostly in that way.) He points out that this is the second time this has occurred. Sasha reminds me of the first time, as I have forgotten. For the rest of the show his group is next to ours.
Sasha and I make small talk during pauses in the show. Of course, Reed comes up, here we are, we love it, it's a huge part of life. Once and a while we get sideways glances from him. We're beautiful, these things happen.
However, my superficial analysis of these actions was misplaced!
Lucas Illings' lecture on Chaos and Network Synchronization, November 2nd 2011 :
I sit next to Hugh, because he's the only face I really recognize, as I am 10 minutes early and the other freshman don't show up until right before the presentation. We chat.
In walks (or brushes, this time not literally) a gypsy-esque man. I stare at him with a puzzled look on my face, half convinced that I am hallucinating, hoping to make eye contact and be reassured that I actually have never seen him in my life.
Instead, he looks at me and winks.
After the talk, I leave with the intention of talking to him, as two chance encounters are enough to make me curious. But he is absorbed in conversation with someone else, and it seems inappropriate to interrupt, both because I am shy and there is a mention of "my other thesis." That's just a strange and scary statement.
Hall Outside My Room, 1:30 am November 3rd 2011 :
I tell my friends about these strange encounters, and am inspired to send in a missed connection.
You: Looked like you were having fun at Jason Webley. A skilled winker is a valuable asset.
Me: Didn't want to interrupt your conversation after the physics talk, but... adventure sometime?
I think that I have hit a crucial moment in my social life at Reed. Before now, I had been absorbing into groups and then leaving them, because they weren't right. At this point, I have found people who I think will help me be who I want to be, make my life beautiful, have great adventures, and CHANGE THE WORLD orwhatever. And that means suddenly I actually have to do emotional work again, and invest energy and spirit. Especially with the Chittick Tickle, it's kinda throwing me for a loop.
Just writing this because no one seems to really process what I mean when I talk about it here. They understand that it's more work or something, but I don't think anyone knows me well enough to understand how I approach this sort of business.
Regardless of added deepthinking, it's getting to be really rewarding. It's just weird trying to adjust my MO to create this long term dynamic. Anna, we talked about this before I think. My original approach is not a long term strategy. But that will change. It's not even just for now. At this point I'm getting to know everyone a little better (gotta love a tiny tiny school) and passing interaction pile up. Suddenly we know who the other person is before a real rapport forms, and that requires a different approach. I'm so used to talking to strangers, and that doesn't happen as much.
Well, that's enough introspection for one blog post. I will tell a story, one you may have already heard in some abridged format, but I want to really capture what it is before Sunday, when the missed connections come out and the nature of it is changed forever. Some things are just so much more exciting in the hypothetical.
Jason Webley, October 29th 2011 :
Sasha and I stand in line, waiting to buy tickets and a man brushes past us, excusing himself. I barely see his face.
Later, at the front of the crowd, he brushes by again (yes, his movements are very brushy, not just in the physical sweeping-contact kind of way. But mostly in that way.) He points out that this is the second time this has occurred. Sasha reminds me of the first time, as I have forgotten. For the rest of the show his group is next to ours.
Sasha and I make small talk during pauses in the show. Of course, Reed comes up, here we are, we love it, it's a huge part of life. Once and a while we get sideways glances from him. We're beautiful, these things happen.
However, my superficial analysis of these actions was misplaced!
Lucas Illings' lecture on Chaos and Network Synchronization, November 2nd 2011 :
I sit next to Hugh, because he's the only face I really recognize, as I am 10 minutes early and the other freshman don't show up until right before the presentation. We chat.
In walks (or brushes, this time not literally) a gypsy-esque man. I stare at him with a puzzled look on my face, half convinced that I am hallucinating, hoping to make eye contact and be reassured that I actually have never seen him in my life.
Instead, he looks at me and winks.
After the talk, I leave with the intention of talking to him, as two chance encounters are enough to make me curious. But he is absorbed in conversation with someone else, and it seems inappropriate to interrupt, both because I am shy and there is a mention of "my other thesis." That's just a strange and scary statement.
Hall Outside My Room, 1:30 am November 3rd 2011 :
I tell my friends about these strange encounters, and am inspired to send in a missed connection.
You: Looked like you were having fun at Jason Webley. A skilled winker is a valuable asset.
Me: Didn't want to interrupt your conversation after the physics talk, but... adventure sometime?
Then the physics majors present at our hall-party wanted to try to identify the mystery man. So I described the gypsy vibe I got from his apparel, dark hair, etc. Then I mentioned the fact that I thought he was talking about two theses when I decided not to talk to him. They placed him as a certain super-senior double major in physics and psychology, which is disturbing because I had just recently decided to not even think about double majoring in physics and sociology. The fact that people do similar things is kind of making it seem like weakness to not try. Anyways, they were all very amused that I had sent such a missed connection, as I am too. But it's kind of fun to take advantage of such circumstantial whimsy. So we'll see what happens.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Wednesday When My Roommate is Having Private Talks and I want to Sleep.
"Qu'est ce que t'as fait, Philipe? Tu as bu."
That is a verbatim quote from my fantastical french professor, Hugh the Badass. That's how he started our "what we did over fall break" conversation. That man makes my day all the time. Well, all the Tuesdays and Thursdays. And we laughed at the same joke last time, and he winked at me. God, recognition by people you admire is so great. So great.
On that note, this real purdy girl I snagged a smooch from during a night of drunken sluttery now smiles at me regularly and occasionally even makes verbal acknowledgment. Yessir, I am climbing such social ladders at Reed. She may or may not have once dated the dude who dressed as Hunter S. Thompson for Rocky Horror. One degree of separation. Booyah.
Tank Girl costume is nearing completion. The question lingers: to wear a shirt, or to not wear a shirt? It will likely be answered by forces outside of my control, since Get Naked is hosting another dance party after Harvest Ball. That was the best dance party of the year, no competition. Killer music, killer vibe, steamed windows, full encouragement to disrobe, what is not to love, I ask you? Run on sentences. Well fuck grammar and punctuation and all of that bourgeois bullshit. See how Reedie I am? You know, the first yearbook-thing was written in phonetic English.
I will aspire to that level of edgyness one day.
Tomorrow is Jason Webley, if I can get off my ass and find some folks to go with... Thursdays are inopportune for concerts. I shall overcome.
Yeah, I didn't actually think this one out. I just thought, hey, these blogglets are all so after-the-fact that you can't tell what it actually feels like. So I tried to do feelings dear, you know how that's hard for me. So that is what it is to think and feel. Hah. Yeah, whatever, maybe one day.
That is a verbatim quote from my fantastical french professor, Hugh the Badass. That's how he started our "what we did over fall break" conversation. That man makes my day all the time. Well, all the Tuesdays and Thursdays. And we laughed at the same joke last time, and he winked at me. God, recognition by people you admire is so great. So great.
On that note, this real purdy girl I snagged a smooch from during a night of drunken sluttery now smiles at me regularly and occasionally even makes verbal acknowledgment. Yessir, I am climbing such social ladders at Reed. She may or may not have once dated the dude who dressed as Hunter S. Thompson for Rocky Horror. One degree of separation. Booyah.
Tank Girl costume is nearing completion. The question lingers: to wear a shirt, or to not wear a shirt? It will likely be answered by forces outside of my control, since Get Naked is hosting another dance party after Harvest Ball. That was the best dance party of the year, no competition. Killer music, killer vibe, steamed windows, full encouragement to disrobe, what is not to love, I ask you? Run on sentences. Well fuck grammar and punctuation and all of that bourgeois bullshit. See how Reedie I am? You know, the first yearbook-thing was written in phonetic English.
I will aspire to that level of edgyness one day.
Tomorrow is Jason Webley, if I can get off my ass and find some folks to go with... Thursdays are inopportune for concerts. I shall overcome.
Yeah, I didn't actually think this one out. I just thought, hey, these blogglets are all so after-the-fact that you can't tell what it actually feels like. So I tried to do feelings dear, you know how that's hard for me. So that is what it is to think and feel. Hah. Yeah, whatever, maybe one day.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Sometimes Crazy Shit Goes Down on Tuesdays, Too.
On Monday I realized that Electric 6 was playing in Portland the next day. I also realized that it was at a 21+ location. I decided that was a negligible detail.
Luckily, Nikole is up for adventure. Lyle and Dan say they would have gone, but they had homework and were sick, respectively. Anyways, in the pouring rain, at 9 pm, Nikole and I biked the 4ish miles to downtown Portland.
Here are the steps of not getting into a concert:
Step 1) Lock our bicycles 3 times while listening to a very drunk homeless man tell three jokes.
Step 2) Buy a doughnut at Voodoo so that we feel entitled to drink some of their water.
Step 3) Observe the bouncer carefully examining an ID card.
Step 4) Confer with compatriot about plan of action. Namely, just hope he doesn't see the 18 part of the ID card. If he does, be cool.
Step 5) Get in line, ask if we can buy tickets inside.
Step 6) Wait awkwardly in line.
Step 7) Get asked for ID
Step 8) Get rejected. But he was nice about it. We pretended we didn't know it was 21 and up.
Step 9) Leave calmly and wander around to see if there's a back door.
Step 10) Realize you forgot to use the distraction techniques (cleavage) that you planned on.
Step 11) Decide to give up and wander around downtown Portland
Step 12) Run into the same homeless man and hear his 3 jokes again.
Step 13) Nikole walks into another club. The bouncer just stares at her until she comes back out. He was kinda hidden, so she thought we could just go for it.
Step 14) Decide you're not in the mood for a strip club
Step 15) Decide it's time to go back and do homework.
Step 16) Buy 4 more doughnuts
Step 17) Nibble on doughnuts because it's raining and you need some extra backbone to get back to Reed.
Step 18) Bike home in the rain.
Step 19) Assemble Boots and Lyle, for whom you bought donuts.
Step 20) Eat donuts.
Step 21) Listen to Boots play Lyle's banjo
Step 22) Listen to Lyle play Lyle's banjo
Step 23) Peace the fuck out, it's homework time
Step 24) Walk back to dorm without shoes in a miniskirt and tank top
Step 25) Grab homework, seek fire to counteract the rain and scantily cladness of your sordid past
Step 26) Find fire, and many people
Step 27) Do not do homework, instead helping someone else do the physics problem set.
Step 28) Talk to Anna about her webcomic and psycology
Step 29) Play with rats
Step 31) Try to explain Hunter S. Thompson.
Step 32) Talk about Hunter S. Thompson with someone who understands.
Step 33) Realize you haven't done any homework and it's 1 am.
Step 34) Peace the fuck out, it's time to sleep.
So, that's how it happened. And the best of the homeless man's jokes was:
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Because he only comes once a year, and that's in your chimney!
Luckily, Nikole is up for adventure. Lyle and Dan say they would have gone, but they had homework and were sick, respectively. Anyways, in the pouring rain, at 9 pm, Nikole and I biked the 4ish miles to downtown Portland.
Here are the steps of not getting into a concert:
Step 1) Lock our bicycles 3 times while listening to a very drunk homeless man tell three jokes.
Step 2) Buy a doughnut at Voodoo so that we feel entitled to drink some of their water.
Step 3) Observe the bouncer carefully examining an ID card.
Step 4) Confer with compatriot about plan of action. Namely, just hope he doesn't see the 18 part of the ID card. If he does, be cool.
Step 5) Get in line, ask if we can buy tickets inside.
Step 6) Wait awkwardly in line.
Step 7) Get asked for ID
Step 8) Get rejected. But he was nice about it. We pretended we didn't know it was 21 and up.
Step 9) Leave calmly and wander around to see if there's a back door.
Step 10) Realize you forgot to use the distraction techniques (cleavage) that you planned on.
Step 11) Decide to give up and wander around downtown Portland
Step 12) Run into the same homeless man and hear his 3 jokes again.
Step 13) Nikole walks into another club. The bouncer just stares at her until she comes back out. He was kinda hidden, so she thought we could just go for it.
Step 14) Decide you're not in the mood for a strip club
Step 15) Decide it's time to go back and do homework.
Step 16) Buy 4 more doughnuts
Step 17) Nibble on doughnuts because it's raining and you need some extra backbone to get back to Reed.
Step 18) Bike home in the rain.
Step 19) Assemble Boots and Lyle, for whom you bought donuts.
Step 20) Eat donuts.
Step 21) Listen to Boots play Lyle's banjo
Step 22) Listen to Lyle play Lyle's banjo
Step 23) Peace the fuck out, it's homework time
Step 24) Walk back to dorm without shoes in a miniskirt and tank top
Step 25) Grab homework, seek fire to counteract the rain and scantily cladness of your sordid past
Step 26) Find fire, and many people
Step 27) Do not do homework, instead helping someone else do the physics problem set.
Step 28) Talk to Anna about her webcomic and psycology
Step 29) Play with rats
Step 31) Try to explain Hunter S. Thompson.
Step 32) Talk about Hunter S. Thompson with someone who understands.
Step 33) Realize you haven't done any homework and it's 1 am.
Step 34) Peace the fuck out, it's time to sleep.
So, that's how it happened. And the best of the homeless man's jokes was:
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Because he only comes once a year, and that's in your chimney!
Monday, October 3, 2011
The Perks of Being Just a Little Bit Death-Plagued
Today I slept for two hours between 12 and 2 pm. What a strange time for a nap, you may say, and you would be right. This bizarre doziness is the main reason I got a mono test. You know, apart from knowing that I was exposed. Anyways, for now it’s negative, so woohoo! But for as miserable as my week of Reed Plague was, this strange dénouement is totally awesome. I feel really cozy all of the time. My attention span is shot, and I tend to fall asleep while doing work, but I can work all day because I really just feel like curling up with a book. And everything I’m doing is in a hazy of cozy, so I’m kind of out of it, but it feels real nice. It reminds me of Oxycodone a lot, actually. Everything is inconsequential and totally mellow. Yeah, I kind of miss the swingyness of real moods, but this has some of that too. I’m dozier pre-nap, and peppier post-nap. We’re just on a different scale, or a different part of the spectrum. I just felt the need to share how goddamn comfortable I feel. Yes, I may be sick. Yes, I may be barred from making out with people for a while. But boy, a really solid REM cycle in the middle of every day may be completely worth it. We shall see. I think this is how people get addicted to Oxy. I don’t think I’ll get addicted to mono, or whatever this is, just because that previous sentence is total bullshit, but I can see how it could happen, right? Apart from the disgusting brain latching and leaching that drugs do. You know. Okay, so I’m not the most coherent in this state of cozy goodness. But fuck coherence. At least until I have to write that hum paper.
I’ma go read a book and cuddle with a giant stuffed T-Rex. Make the most of this situation.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Sundays are always the same. FULL OF EPIC PHYSICS.
So, I’m employed. Not gainfully employed, but prestigiously employed. OMSI, motherfuckers. Damn straight. For two weeks now, I’ve worked 8 hours plus a half hour lunch break in the physics lab on Sunday. They have more than four Van De Graff generators, a theramin (oh lordy), a TESLA COIL (HOLY COWCLICKS!) and a Gaussian Rifle (my personal favorite) and one of Edison’s early lightbulbs, and nano particles of iron in water. There is no end to the excellence that goes down there.
My coworkers are chill too. We talk about random stuff mostly, but they’re cool nerds. The coolest has a degree in mechanical engineering and works at OHSU. Interesting fella. Actually, they are all fellas. There is one girl who works in chem, but all the physics kids are dudes. It’s okay. I hold down the fort.
Also, working at OMSI means that I get a membership which lets in 4 people under 20, 1 over 20, and me. So, OMSI parties will be going down, frequently.
I’m exhausted. There is your overview of my work.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Thursday and Friday balance each other out.
Thursday was beautiful because I was feeling so much healthier. I climbed ropes, I kicked ass, the basics. Then at night I adventured around, watching fire dancers and listened to Jewish queercore punk. It’s their new years and such. Then I went to Mac 3 for a dance party.
And then everyone played tetris instead of dancing. So that was a bad omen. Then I went to Mac 2 because I was bored, and everyone was doing homework. But then the friend I hooked up with over the weekend wanted to hang out, so we did. And then I had to break up with someone for the first time.
Still have a black heart, it seems. I tried to tell him early on. But I think next time I just need to have a pause, explain, okay? Session, instead of explaining once in a while to the best of my ability but not really clearly.
So, that was traumatic for all parties. At one point though, he suggested that I should try to be a different person, so I felt that I had definitely made the right decision by then. Who does that?
Anyways, I was sicker on Friday, and feeling really bad about the whole situation. Then he got tested for mono and Ooh! He’s got it! Fuck. So I go in to the health center, fairly certain that my symptoms weren’t mono. I didn’t bother getting tested though because in the first week there’s a 25% chance of a false negative. So, I’ll go back next week. Then I asked about counseling services, and cried a little bit.
So, later that day I met with a therapist! New experience! Unfortunately, it came a little bit too late, because I had already gotten over the whole thing to a large degree. It was still good to talk it out. My main reason for going was because I had no one here to talk to, but then I chatted with Ryan about it and that helped. It was still valuable though. Also, I now have an appointment for acupuncture! OOH! Free acupuncture! What a great school! I would also like to say that I watched an episode of Top Gear in between mono visit and psych visit, which of course has massive healing properties. In the form of laughter.
Okie doke, so I was a little peppier. I ate dinner and did some Hum reading. Then Liana and Nikole and Austin and I were going to watch Closer, but Nikole would probably die if she got mono, so we ended up putting it off until we’re sure. Because when you watch and aphrodisiac like Closer, you never know what might happen.
Instead, we all went to dinner. I ate a wee bit, to participate. It turns out most of them were going to eat again at a Jewish dinner later, so we basically all had two dinners. This Rabbi across the street hosts dinners for lots of students for Shabbat. His family is so sweet. Anyways, Nikole and Liana went to that, but Lyle showed up and another girl mentioned this theatre thing that I had forgot about and we headed off to that.
It was awesome. It’s called Antarktikos, and it’s this trippy dream-death-real life mix up of adventurers and artists and insomniacs. It was wild. Then the author spoke, but didn’t say anything too interesting. Also, we went with a lot of prospies, so that was fun. Reed has a weight that it puts on you, and prospies don’t have that. Freshman barely do, but it’s still nice to talk to floaty folks.
Lyle and I split. We went to SLUR for a bit, but it was crowded and they were on a beer run, so even though it was pirate themed, we didn’t stick around. Lyle ran off to get water and I followed him, creeper that I am. We decided to play chess, but got distracted at Chitick because they had an advice couch. (Also, they were drinking Vodka Tang-kikis, vodka plus tang. WHAT) and Lyle and I didn’t know what to ask about, so we went to Sullivan to write a list of ‘Things for which one might elicit advice”
1. Whom should I romance with?
2. If you give up accidentally, is it still giving up?
3. What is the Principal Thing
4. Sex
Lyle did one, I did two, Thales did 3, and british soccer player who signed my tits did 4. He made sure that we understood it was not him who needed advice on sex, just other in general people. He was also very disappointed that I didn’t mention him in my article about soccer. Nikole was back, and Maggie and some other folks were going to go to Which house. Last time Witch house was boring though, so Lyle and I just went back to Chitick to get advice. We learned very little, but we saw August on acid which was HILARIOUS. That kid is supremely lovable.
Then we went to Winch and drew on the chalkboard, drinking liquid inspiration. You know, beer. We felt very artsy. It was beautiful. The other half of the board had Brosiedon, king of the Brocean. I promise ours was better. I’ve been into weird deconstructed faces lately. Lyle did squiggly lines, and also a face. It was class-tastic.
Speaking of class, then we wandered around for a while before running into kids who were going to hang out with Hugh, the resident communist. I’m sure he’s not the only one, but he’s the most insistent. We layed about in his room and he drew on my legs. I think this need to write on people is very interesting, especially since I was scribbled on by two people last night. Both signatures. At least some of Hugh’s was signature. I wonder if it has to do with a sort of illusion of possession. Anyways, I left with Lyle because Hugh was very drunk and very touchy. Also, I should sleep because I’m sick. So I did, and I felt good about everything,
Very different from Thursday, but that’s how it goes. In a good way, all around.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Oh Baby. Rocky Horror Is So Great.
So, last night I was hanging out with Keanu and Dan. Keanu plays didgeridoo and Dan plays trumpet, they're chill. Lyle and I had decided to try out drinking chess, but then we didn't feel like drinking. We went to a house party off campus, just for a change of pace, but it wasn't all that good. There was a keg, and some interesting conversations, and everclear jello shots (which I thought were actually an improvement on normal store-jello which tastes unreal.) But then I turned to Lyle and asked "Do you want to play chess?" "Yes." We leave. Everything is very black and white with Lyle, he's an interesting kid to hang out with. Makes me want to be a better person, you know? Basically exactly what I went to college for.
So we go back and play chess for a bit. We play to an unofficial stalemate, as we both had one rook and some pawns. That's about when he got a call to go to Rocky. I knew some people were going, but then I offered to dress him and I had just gone shopping in Hawthorne for my Halloween costume and... Oh lordy.
He ended up in my black velvet dress with a line of fake gems, with my fluffy purple hat and star leggings and red see-through fluff shirt. Also a bit of makeup. I wore blue fishnets, multicolored biker shorts, a garter, my huge colorful wool socks, and a sparkly velvet top, and my crazy half-jacket. My eyes were ringed in blue eye-shadow Devon was with us, but he was less into the dress up thing. He wore my disco-ball headband and we put sparkles on him.
We met the crowd, but only Helene was dressed up. Whatever, we looked smashing. We started walking there, but then realized that we had planned to get donuts at voodoo at 4 am. So we scurried back to our bikes and left on those so that we'd be prepared. Of course that means that Lyle and I got there way before everyone else, but that was okay. We had cool talks, and this lady who is part of a Rocky Horror shadow cast in southern Oregon took a cute picture of us. Piggy Back is the best pose ever.
Then everybody showed up, we waited a while longer, and then went in.
Of course, before we went in we were branded as Virgins. They count everyone who has not seen it at the Clinton St. Theater in the past 6 months a virgin. It makes me want to wait 6 months to see it again so that I can participate in virgindom again.
Basically, after they spanked all of the people with birthdays in the week, we went on stage. First, there was a dancing competition. August (charming gay man who is Lyle's roommate) won for the guys. Then girls went, Helene and myself included. I didn't win, but I did merit a re-vote. The girl who won took her bra off though, so, really, I think she wanted it more. Plus the best part was that it was fuck-with-your-character-night so the guy who played Brad was dressed as Hunter S. Thompson. I totally recognized it before he was announced. Anyways, I got to do my no-judgement slutty dance directly in front of him, so it was basically a realization of all of my fantasies ever. He seemed to appreciate it. Also, he's a Reedie. Also, he's one of the main SLUR-ers. Goddamn I am maybe in love.
Then Helene and I sat back down with the people who had already played a game. Lyle's game was to simulate oral sex with a banana, but he didn't really understand. He thought it was to keep the banana in your mouth as long as possible and as far in as possible. He did have one very realistic gag-incident though.
Then there was a fake-orgasm contest. That may have actually been before the bananas. Anyways, it was pretty great. One of them started normally, and then (s)he burst into an operatic version of "the hills are alive with the sound of muuuuusic." Oh lordy, how I laughed.
Then the movie started, and we screamed and taunted and started learning the banter. Some of it is really subtle. When they enter Frank's house someone shouted "What is Reed College" and then the movie said "some bizarre hunting house for crazy wealthy people" or something to that effect. It was fantastic. Another geographically specific one was was when Rocky was pressing buttons and looking stupid. Someone said "I push red, I push blue, I play football for OSU." I was the only one from Corvallis, I think, but I appreciated the recognition.
It was a beautiful show. I think I'm going back in two weeks with a gaggle of virgins. Muahaha.
It got out at about 2:30 am. Lyle then convinced me that no one would actually wake up for a donut run at 3:30, so we just went to Voodoo straight from there. Our costumes were greatly appreciated. Lyle was asked if he was a girl. Also, he was right about people waking up. I got 2 "slept through my damn alarm" texts, but we had a blast.
We biked back along the waterfront in the rain, and made it to Reed at 3:49, just in time to meet our Donut Contingency, population 0. So, we gave a donut to the guy sweeping the floors, and he seemed to appreciate it. Then we talked for a while because I didn't wanna sleep. He did though, so we went our separate ways. What a good night.
Also, if I start saying "aint no thang" back in Corvallis, that is Lyle's good influence.
So we go back and play chess for a bit. We play to an unofficial stalemate, as we both had one rook and some pawns. That's about when he got a call to go to Rocky. I knew some people were going, but then I offered to dress him and I had just gone shopping in Hawthorne for my Halloween costume and... Oh lordy.
He ended up in my black velvet dress with a line of fake gems, with my fluffy purple hat and star leggings and red see-through fluff shirt. Also a bit of makeup. I wore blue fishnets, multicolored biker shorts, a garter, my huge colorful wool socks, and a sparkly velvet top, and my crazy half-jacket. My eyes were ringed in blue eye-shadow Devon was with us, but he was less into the dress up thing. He wore my disco-ball headband and we put sparkles on him.
We met the crowd, but only Helene was dressed up. Whatever, we looked smashing. We started walking there, but then realized that we had planned to get donuts at voodoo at 4 am. So we scurried back to our bikes and left on those so that we'd be prepared. Of course that means that Lyle and I got there way before everyone else, but that was okay. We had cool talks, and this lady who is part of a Rocky Horror shadow cast in southern Oregon took a cute picture of us. Piggy Back is the best pose ever.
Then everybody showed up, we waited a while longer, and then went in.
Of course, before we went in we were branded as Virgins. They count everyone who has not seen it at the Clinton St. Theater in the past 6 months a virgin. It makes me want to wait 6 months to see it again so that I can participate in virgindom again.
Basically, after they spanked all of the people with birthdays in the week, we went on stage. First, there was a dancing competition. August (charming gay man who is Lyle's roommate) won for the guys. Then girls went, Helene and myself included. I didn't win, but I did merit a re-vote. The girl who won took her bra off though, so, really, I think she wanted it more. Plus the best part was that it was fuck-with-your-character-night so the guy who played Brad was dressed as Hunter S. Thompson. I totally recognized it before he was announced. Anyways, I got to do my no-judgement slutty dance directly in front of him, so it was basically a realization of all of my fantasies ever. He seemed to appreciate it. Also, he's a Reedie. Also, he's one of the main SLUR-ers. Goddamn I am maybe in love.
Then Helene and I sat back down with the people who had already played a game. Lyle's game was to simulate oral sex with a banana, but he didn't really understand. He thought it was to keep the banana in your mouth as long as possible and as far in as possible. He did have one very realistic gag-incident though.
Then there was a fake-orgasm contest. That may have actually been before the bananas. Anyways, it was pretty great. One of them started normally, and then (s)he burst into an operatic version of "the hills are alive with the sound of muuuuusic." Oh lordy, how I laughed.
Then the movie started, and we screamed and taunted and started learning the banter. Some of it is really subtle. When they enter Frank's house someone shouted "What is Reed College" and then the movie said "some bizarre hunting house for crazy wealthy people" or something to that effect. It was fantastic. Another geographically specific one was was when Rocky was pressing buttons and looking stupid. Someone said "I push red, I push blue, I play football for OSU." I was the only one from Corvallis, I think, but I appreciated the recognition.
It was a beautiful show. I think I'm going back in two weeks with a gaggle of virgins. Muahaha.
It got out at about 2:30 am. Lyle then convinced me that no one would actually wake up for a donut run at 3:30, so we just went to Voodoo straight from there. Our costumes were greatly appreciated. Lyle was asked if he was a girl. Also, he was right about people waking up. I got 2 "slept through my damn alarm" texts, but we had a blast.
We biked back along the waterfront in the rain, and made it to Reed at 3:49, just in time to meet our Donut Contingency, population 0. So, we gave a donut to the guy sweeping the floors, and he seemed to appreciate it. Then we talked for a while because I didn't wanna sleep. He did though, so we went our separate ways. What a good night.
Also, if I start saying "aint no thang" back in Corvallis, that is Lyle's good influence.
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Saturdays are actually kinda nice too. Whatever You’re Into.
I was heading back to my dorm after watching half of the rugby scrimmage (hardcore) when I ran into Maggie and Nicole. They’re really hilarious, and energetic. We hung out and ate Armenian Sweetbread for a while, and then they remembered that they were missing an Arabic Movie.
So we went to see it. The first scene was awkward because this guy kept shooting people and I wasn’t sure if we should laugh, because it was comical, or not just in case that was serious. Luckily, it ended up being a comedy. I understood a grand total of jack shit, but the experience was worthwhile. Arab actors use much more intense hand gestures, it’s really fun.
Then we picked up Lyle because he’s taking Arabic so he was there. We hung out at his place for a bit, but he was going to Music Fest NW because one of his friend’s dads has connections. First we painted some warpaint and the Aladdin Sane thing on his face though. Then Nicole and I got our green on too. Then we went to the dance party.
Danced for a while, got bored, left for a bit, ate food and were given malt liquor, then Lyle came back, then most people went back inside to dance to “all of the lights” which is apparently a good song. It was an interesting dynamic outside because 2 out of five girls were pretty solidly lesbians, and 2 were very straight, and then there was me, and then everyone was tipsy and thus horny and… it was just a random conversation.
Dan showed up. I don’t think I’ve mentioned him. He smokes a lot of pot and talks very quickly and is very enthusiastic. He’s fun. We danced for a bit and then flopped for a bit. Everyone else kept dancing. My hour and a half of sleep was biting me. Then we walked around some, and ran into his upperclassmen friends. So, I met the guy who was responsible for turning the Ancient Civilizations dorm into the infamous acid fest last year. Then we went to their apartment, which to access you had to climb one fence, onto another, onto a balcony. I saw a happily dysfunctional relationship and a really pretty bong.
Then I finally went home.
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Good Lord. Fridays Could Hardly Get Any Crazier.
It began innocently enough. Das Racist played at Reed yesterday, and it was a decent show. The music wasn’t particularly amazing, but everyone got really into dancing, and the stage was full of us. Basically an excuse to dance like a crazy person with some mildly famous people. Could be worse.
Then it was over, and the Tir Na Noggies I was with decided to go back to the dorm to chill/sleep/homework. UM. NO, it’s Friday night. So, I went back to the dorm and got my ipod newly updated with Shostakovich’s 5th Symphony and then listened to that and read Tank Girl in the basement of the Gray Campus Center. I finished the book, and then walked towards my dorm, the long way.
And thank God for that. As I approached the Blue Bridge, it filled with a bottleneck of bikers. Some looking normal, some all a-glow, some on double bikes, one pair on a back-to-back recumbent (yes, that works.) I watched them roll by, cursing myself for not wearing shoes and not being near my bike. Then, I sprinted to my dorm and put my bike shoes on and followed their trail.
I took a wrong turn, but met up with other people who were looking for them too. Eventually, we caught up at a stop at a convenience store where everyone was buying booze. I met Lauren and her friends, who were also going for the first time. Then we rode out.
Everyone was a little tipsy (not me, yet) and it was pretty much a blast. In the end we were on a gravel path along the Willamette river… Somewhere. Near the Sellwood Bridge. Then, there was a party. It was BYOB, but someone gave me one because we were talking or something. I don’t remember the rationale. Anyways, I basically danced for a while and then realized that I didn’t have my ID card so I was locked out of my dorm. It was about 2 in the morning at that point, so I called Andrew and asked him what to do seeing as I was drunk, didn’t know where I was, and had only my phone and iPod. He suggested that I head back to Reed post-haste, and then I could crash in his common room or somewhere. Thank goodness for voices of reason.
So, I started to bike towards Reed. Then I realized I was lost, so I asked someone to guide me. He had a boombox and was headed to NE, and I was going SE and at the time we were SW so I figured I’d at least get the East part down. Turns out he led me about 10 miles out of my way, but it was a good ride. Also, my first macking since coming to Reed. Also, he showed me cool spots around the river. It was nice.
But crazy weirdness at one of them. We walked down a ramp to a dock that floats just a tiny bit over the water. It’s really pretty. But on the way down I dropped my helmet off the edge onto some rocks. We decided we’d get it later. Then we walked by a backpack, thinking nothing of it. We hung out by the water for a while, then I decided I really should go let Andrew sleep. So we started walking back… and my helmet was sitting next to the backpack. Creepy. Really creepy. But also nice.
By the time I made it back to Reed, Andrew was asleep, and it was around 3 am. My backup plan was to crash in the comic book library (it has nice couches and is light-proof.) But late at night all buildings except for the student union are swipe access only. So, I went to the SU because I really had to pee. Also, there was fantastic music emanating from it. So, I used the toilet and listened to some piano and then walked around with “Terry” who hitchhikes and chills. We had good talks, and then decent smooches. It was slutty night for me.
Then I finally crashed in the comic room a little after 5. Woke up at 8:30, waited for someone in my dorm to wake up, was let in, showered, went to breakfast and gorged myself on foodstuffs. I was really hungry. REALLY HUNGRY. So now I’m back at my dorm, finishing the paper that’s due in 4 hours. What a crazy fucking world.
This is the organization I was with. I believe some permutation of last night will be repeated.
http://midnightmysteryride.wordpress.com/photos/
This is the organization I was with. I believe some permutation of last night will be repeated.
http://midnightmysteryride.wordpress.com/photos/
Monday, September 5, 2011
SLUR. This is How to Do Friday Nights.
There is a tradition at Reed (biweekly, thank god, or my Friday nights would all be exactly the same) of getting drunk and singing. Yes, excellent songs. My favorites are the improvised songs. “A drop of Nelson’s Blood” is the first verse, and then it gets substituted out with lyrics like “getting fucking laid” or “another fucking beer” or “a three day fucking weekend” whatever. Also, they don’t all include profanity, just the ones I remember. Sometimes they get very Greek and Hum-reference-y, mega classy. Those are my favorites.
Oh, a drop of Nelson’s Blood wouldn’t do us any harm,
No a drop of Nelson’s Blood wouldn’t do us any harm,
Oh a drop of Nelson’s Blood wouldn’t do us any harm,
And we’ll all hold on behind.
And we’ll roll the old chariot along
We’ll roll the old chariot along
We’ll roll the old chariot along
And we’ll all hang on behind.
Simple enough. This is good because it’s hard to read when you’re drunk and it’s dark. You are given the opportunity to make your own verse by holding your beer can to your forehead. Then, gradually, everyone points their elbows at you. It’s very interesting. Also, people are hilarious, loud, crass, and intelligent. It’s a bloody brilliant combination. There are classic songs too, most are in Rise Up Singing.
There are a million cool student run organizations/events. The Fungus Among Us isn’t founded on quite so excellent a principle, but fuck it, it’ll be brilliant.
Tidbits of Reed Life. It's Hard To Sort Everything.
I was wondering if I would be getting drunk on every single weekend night at Reed. The answer is, surprisingly, no, as of this Sunday, September 4th. Instead, I was able to consume mega-tasty blackberry custard, play two rounds of chess and one infinite game of ping pong with improvised paddles, and see Harold and Maude, which is a chill movie. It was definitely nice, even though I was still up till three because, well, I had to see the end.
Also, support for the fungus club is mammoth. Pretty much unbelievable. I get stopped in commons and told the someone will be “top sixing the fuck” out of the Fungus Among Us, even though they aren’t on the mailing list yet. Fantastic. Also, hanging out with Lyle is a lot of fun, so it’s easier because my cofounder is super awesome. Also, (Anna, you should recognize this characteristic) he had a phase of “I dunno if I’m ready for this level of commitment to the project” and was honest about it and got over it, and for once that was not me. And next time it is me, I will learn from his most graceful example.
I went to the bins yesterday. Clothes by the pound. We calculated that they would probably pay for themselves pretty rapidly as laundry is so unreasonably expensive here. Also, a pain to accomplish as there are but two washers and dryers in the dorm of around 50 people and it’s pretty hard to move through the cycles. But Reedies are pros at Challenge Overcoming, so I managed. Phew.
The Fungus Among Us. Described while Drunk.
Say one day, you were wandering in the woods. Then you see a man bending over and you wonder what he’s doing… Lo, he is examining some juicy chanterelle treasures. Oh la, if only you possessed such skill, such mastery of the subtle art of mycology, that you too could bend over with such poise, such taught-ness. Well, that dream will soon be realized, in the company of friends: The Fungus Among Us. We open for you a gateway to unbelievable enlightenment without ever touching a psychedelic shroom! Perhaps you wonder: how will you achieve this masterful status? Just show up to any or preferably all of our events, created in the name of inquiry and knowledge. These may potentially include the following: a) trekking through the woods, uncharted territories, where no Reedie has gone before (unless they went on the Gray Fund trip last year) b) hours of painstaking research into the fantastic mystery that is the field of mycology, the kingdom of fungi, the world of chitin-soaked cell walls c) the gustatory odyssey of a well cooked portabella. We might also grow them. No promises on that front. Unless we get 30 bucks from Reed. Love, Julia and Lyle.
Reed College. The Early Days.
At 2 am I swipe my card to get into m dorm. I open my door, fumbling the keys in spite of my efforts to be quiet, though my roommate sleeps pretty solidly. My shampoo, conditioner, and unreal amounts of doctor bronner’s tumble into my arms as I go to take my shower. Other people talk quietly in the halls of Griffin Dorm. I slip out of my overalls and, well, that’s all I’m wearing apart from my underwear. The tiedye around my ass is still wet from running through the sprinklers, and my black bra was the only semblance of conformity left. I washed the dance party out of my hair, and the Noize Parade off of my skin.
Every night here has been intense. But August 26th, 2011 takes the cake so far. I wandered back to my dorm as the sun was setting, thinking I’d have some downtime. Gracie was with me when we ran into Tildy, our friendly HA. She mentioned that maybe we should be in the quad, maybe we should grab some pots and pans… maybe right now. So we did. And there was the noise parade.
Some people were naked, some people were half naked, most people sparkled somewhere, by their own choice or by contamination. I was underdressed, I could tell, my grey and black hardly meshing with the rainbow of hedonists running around. So I slipped out of my shorts, and skipped through the crowd with rainbow underwear banging on a pot while people around me manipulated vuvuzelas and trombones and tambourines and kazoos to make the biggest fucking racket possible. Then we marched through campus, and the bouncy bridge moved unbelievably beneath my bare feet, with water from the athletic fields dripping down my body. What a blast.
I traded my pot and fork for half a beer, as Torbin wanted to make some noise. Then, as I danced to a trio of saxophones, they passed around a huge (albeit largely empty) bottle of rum, or rummish substance. It burned my face, then mouth then throat then stomach. I probably should have made it to dinner before the commons closed.
The people in charge did some sort of ritualistic chanting. What I could make out was roughly “we don’t want to go to trade school” and “Reed will live” and “we will live” and “Homer, Homer, Homer”. There was more Homer chanting once they whipped out a huge facsimile of the Illiad and bowed to it and held it and hit it and basically professed undying love. Homer, Homer, Homer. Like that, but louder.
Then they burned the Illiad, as well as an American Flag. I’m not sure if the flag was on purpose, but the whole time it was burning everyone yelled “USA USA USA” while not making any attempt to extinguish the thing. The moral of Noize Parade is that love and hate are not mutually exclusive.
Then Gracie and I went to the swings, which were occupied, but I was a bit drunk, so I didn’t mind. I couldn’t have swung anyways, that’d be silly, needlessly reckless. Andrew ran into us with a bit of a crew, and as usual we ended up hanging out. We went to my dorm for a bit, he sat in Dertron, and we drank a bit of my Emergency Supply. I put on overalls, but took off my shirt once we decided to go to the dance party. We danced for a bit, but then ended up wandering.
He didn’t know about the pool table though, though I swung him over to the pool dungeon. We played a round, but I don’t remember who won. So he must have. I know the difference was basically nothing, so that to me means scoring a kid to practice with so that neither of us loses too embarrassingly. Yes. After that we rolled over to my car, and my bike, so that I could show off. I played him some tunes, told him we were going to the Gogol Bordello concert, and Jason Webley (I gave him an option for Webley because he’s less of a vital experience, and more of just a BAMF). Then he was sleepy. That’s okay. It was past 1, and noise parade was crazy.
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