Sometimes Crazy Shit Goes Down on Tuesdays, Too.

On Monday I realized that Electric 6 was playing in Portland the next day. I also realized that it was at a 21+ location. I decided that was a negligible detail.
Luckily, Nikole is up for adventure. Lyle and Dan say they would have gone, but they had homework and were sick, respectively. Anyways, in the pouring rain, at 9 pm, Nikole and I biked the 4ish miles to downtown Portland.
Here are the steps of not getting into a concert:
Step 1) Lock our bicycles 3 times while listening to a very drunk homeless man tell three jokes.
Step 2) Buy a doughnut at Voodoo so that we feel entitled to drink some of their water.
Step 3) Observe the bouncer carefully examining an ID card.
Step 4) Confer with compatriot about plan of action. Namely, just hope he doesn't see the 18 part of the ID card. If he does, be cool.
Step 5) Get in line, ask if we can buy tickets inside.
Step 6) Wait awkwardly in line.
Step 7) Get asked for ID
Step 8) Get rejected. But he was nice about it. We pretended we didn't know it was 21 and up.
Step 9) Leave calmly and wander around to see if there's a back door.
Step 10) Realize you forgot to use the distraction techniques (cleavage) that you planned on.
Step 11) Decide to give up and wander around downtown Portland
Step 12) Run into the same homeless man and hear his 3 jokes again.
Step 13) Nikole walks into another club. The bouncer just stares at her until she comes back out. He was kinda hidden, so she thought we could just go for it.
Step 14) Decide you're not in the mood for a strip club
Step 15) Decide it's time to go back and do homework.
Step 16) Buy 4 more doughnuts
Step 17) Nibble on doughnuts because it's raining and you need some extra backbone to get back to Reed.
Step 18) Bike home in the rain.
Step 19) Assemble Boots and Lyle, for whom you bought donuts.
Step 20) Eat donuts.
Step 21) Listen to Boots play Lyle's banjo
Step 22) Listen to Lyle play Lyle's banjo
Step 23) Peace the fuck out, it's homework time
Step 24) Walk back to dorm without shoes in a miniskirt and tank top
Step 25) Grab homework, seek fire to counteract the rain and scantily cladness of your sordid past
Step 26) Find fire, and many people
Step 27) Do not do homework, instead helping someone else do the physics problem set.
Step 28) Talk to Anna about her webcomic and psycology
Step 29) Play with rats
Step 31) Try to explain Hunter S. Thompson.
Step 32) Talk about Hunter S. Thompson with someone who understands.
Step 33) Realize you haven't done any homework and it's 1 am.
Step 34) Peace the fuck out, it's time to sleep.

So, that's how it happened. And the best of the homeless man's jokes was:
Why doesn't Santa have any kids?
Because he only comes once a year, and that's in your chimney!