Least of all me. For goodness sake I just wrote a poem. A poem.
But forget that.
Something most momentous happened!
My wrist is naked. I cut off my bracelet from Southside 2011, from Oregon Country Fair 2012, a dinosaur sillyband, a hairband, and a Turk's Head.
How did this happen? Why did I undo my fetishes? How did I let go of my past?
Drugs. 2c-e.
Which was a good trip. A great trip.
Anyways, I'd tried to take them off a week or two ago. I thought it was pathetic to still want reminders of who I used to be. I couldn't do it though.
What I needed was to find those people in me again. To feel like I was a whole and not a bunch of pieces trying to stay together. And that was what Saturday taught me, with the help of some 2c-e.
They're off! I'm free! I'm me! My physics problem set only took half an hour so I have 3 more hours than usual to write silly little tidbits of life onto the internet!
My friend and I will go throw pots in the pottery studio. That will be nice.
She thinks the boy isn't good for me. I'm not sure if we're good for eachother. I don't know if he gives a shit about me, if he likes me, if he's attracted to me, if he's as much to blame for our awkward conversations as I am... fuck. I don't know how to ask him anything anyways.
I'm worried I'm hanging on to this because I like so much to be involved.
I don't even have time to see people I like. I am not in control of my life, my homework runs me.
This is confusing with respect to my new-found selfness. All of this is contradicting.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm better at math than physics.
I know more and more why I like myself but less and less why others do.
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