In a nice follow up to the removal of the manacles on my wrist, I was using my journal (2010-2012) as a candleholder/symbol, and I learned an important lesson.
Symbols don't always emerge unscathed.
The candles burnt down while I was washing down a bottle of champagne with some wine and hookah, and the journal started burning. Maybe a quarter of the way down.
These are the first lines. They're not burned. Half of them are written in mirror script, because my family was with me for my first voyage with it and I was paranoid that they would read it. I thought every other line in mirror script would be even harder to read. Anyways, I call it "a tank barrier mocking the vines" There are still open pages, I'll keep filling it even though it's injured.
"The object of the game is to tell a story and then believe it. I just lost all 5 games, with scientific accuracy and masochistic visuals But that's a story I won't believe. The reminders of exactly who and where I am supposed to be have been unfortunately misplaced."
I cried a bit, but I can still read some of it. I will try to transcribe more later, maybe.
For now, I have a paper on breakdown theory to write. I am a fucking pro on breakdowns, so it should be no problem.
Love,
Julia.
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