Midway through Saturday

I'm about to pack up my school work for the evening. I'm going to a play, then hopefully I'll find something to eat or I'll just head somewhere to watch a movie, or I'll talk to people. We'll see where the Adderall takes me. I've started feeling a little dizzy and nauseous, but that makes sense since the only food I had today was at 11 am and now it's 7. I wrote some thesis, and did the bulk of my student consulting work, and wrote an essay for a scholarship, so productivity was decent. I think that sober productivity might have been higher, but I enjoyed writing thesis and scholarship so much that it's kind of irrelevant. It was just fun. Exciting. Not pleasurable in the normal sense of getting work done, or thinking and finding ideas, but I was just thrilled to be concentrating. Adderall is such a weird drug.

I'm worried that the thesis writing I did wasn't super useful, but it can probably be edited into good material.

I never showered after all.

I'm not sure if I want to see the boyf tonight. Maybe I should figure out what's been a little off lately. I think it's mostly that some parts of our relationship feel like they're being taken for granted. Or at least they could be made more special. Sex, obviously, but also our connection in general. For the first few weeks it was like we were so impressed with each other and ourselves and now it's like "of course." Also, we need to talk about opening up the relationship or at least what we're going to do once Stop Making Sense comes around.
I don't know why I'm worried about these conversations when our past real-talks have gone so well. I think it's because of the herpes scare (which I don't have, let it be known). Things were tense for a week and now it's hard to remember that they don't have to be. I also didn't want to talk about opening up the relationship when something as slut-transmitted as herpes was on his mind.

Welp, I feel like I didn't say anything of substance here and I mostly just wanted to be typing, but maybe this will jog my memory pleasantly some day. I'm glad to be writing here at all really. I want my last semester of college to be documented, but it's hard to synthesize. Hopefully social media will provide a good history.

I wonder idly about spending this summer building something with more artistic integrity around my journals. I hadn't thought of using social media to augment it. Huh.