during a whippit trip

something about whether or not i'm an addictive personality
and if I was a drug addict, would i get help?
and some catch 22 where whatever I did would mean something either way
not only that, but one choice would mean that it was going to go one way or the other
I would be a drug addict and not ask for help
or that I ask for help when things get bad/have a support network
then i got overwhelmed and froze and my hands looked spindly

Pro-tip: even if what happens on whippits is also terrifying, nitrous is a great escape from a panic attack.
Really just ritual helps. I lit a candle, picked out 5 canisters (only did 3)

The whole addiction thing was triggered because I said "not now" instead of talking to the friend who had triggered me, and finished a whippit.
Overreactions.