Pacify

I went because I wanted to ride in the back of the truck. I also like watching my housemate play music. When we got to Recess I served as drum technician number 4, which is to say that I carried a drum up the stairs. Then we went to a friend's apartment until it was showtime.

Or, since our friend was playing first, 20 minutes late to the advertised show time. The music didn't start until 9, 40 minutes later. During those 40 minutes, I watched the room (the small, smelly room) fill with Reedies. None of them except the ~radicals~ even acknowledged me. Even a dude who I thought I'd had a Real Conversation with one time. It was so awful.

But then the band played, which was really fun. Afterwards, most of my crew left for a smokebreak. I met some new folks who live in a different house with a bunch of my friends, and then the second band played. I must have been in a weird spot in the room because I could not differentiate the instruments. So I left, very annoyed. As I was leaving out the door I was told the fire marshal had come and no one was being let back in. Ridiculous.

I hung out behind the building with my house etcetera and that was alright but I was still so angry about how rude and hip everyone was trying to be. I mean, yeah, sometimes people don't see you but it was actually EVERYONE and they were doing it to everyone and I think that scene is just really fucked up.
Fast forward: we leave, and I get to ride alone in the back of the truck with the drum sets. I sing some favorite songs to the night. I feel good.

At home, my housemates prepare to go to Daft Ball.  Due to the mountains of hate I was feeling for Reedies, I thought about just skipping it.

But you know what washes away mountains of hate? Oceans of seratonin.

So with glow sticks and black light paint we headed down the hill.
I found some friends but it was striking, as it always is, how few people I knew in the room. That only mattered until I came up, at about midnight+15.

And then I danced. I didn't care who with, except that I didn't want to dance "with" anyone because this roll was more about how the inside of my body felt, the joints and muscles instead of the skin. Oh I danced.

The best part of the dance was that this freshman who I think is really cute and I just get excellent vibes from was dancing near me, rolling so hard.  I thought maybe I'd creeped him out by too obviously being attracted to him, but it's probably just paranoia left over from the French Experience of being perma-creeped myself. Anyways, I had my light up valve covers (motion activated) that Connor had given me at Burning Man. The circumstances were too parallel, and I wasn't really using them. I handed them to him and he went apeshit. It was awesome. That was healing.

The only thing I worried about was that the music would end too early. But it didn't. When it finally did, I was tired. I went outside with the sweetest sophomore and talked and talked at her. She likes to listen. I basically just said everything that was on my mind. I also walked around her in circles while she spun to face me.

I had a lot of catching up to do in the water-consumption department. I endeavored to drink the entire water fountain but was unsuccessful. Eventually we collapsed in the pool hall due to its proximity to water and its music. After laying down for a while, I danced again.

One of my favorite people at Reed came in, and the music was Portishead-y and soft with heavy beats and I just moved my body. Oh my god.
I played this song after a while. I'm a little obsessed.
http://papipacify.me/

Then that favorite person gave me a wonderful massage. She laid on top of me and we talked. A little bit more dancing, and then... it was time or something.
I made it home at 5 am. My phone was stolen at the dance, but not my wallet which is awesome. Neither the button that came off the coat that I would feel awful if I lost. They did steal my purple lipstick though so they will burn.
Oh, and I don't hate everyone anymore. Funny how that works.