So I read this article this morning.
http://nplusonemag.com/what-do-you-desire#.UoGXw054FCg.facebook
It's long, but I couldn't stop halfway through. I feel like I'm in the same place that this woman is, in a way. Yes, younger different whatever whoever. But in terms of sex, it's spot on.
The last time I had sex was at the end of July. It was good, but at that point I felt like I was trading sex for emotional support. The idea of sex had stopped being attractive.
What fucked me up? Frenchmen. The constant sexual harassment I experienced this summer has lead to more shame and discomfort around the idea of sex than I've had since middle school. I feel objectified by compliments and angry at admiration. Is this valid? Sure. Is it productive? No.
How will I heal? I don't know. I hope I want to kiss people casually again. Maybe Spring-Fall will help. In the mean time... Well, I have to go meet with my advisor, so I can't flush this out, but I think I'll just take more data. Mindfully.
No comments:
Post a Comment