These aren't secrets, but I haven't told anyone either.
I may sound bipolar but I mostly just write about really great things or really bad things. Extremes, right?
I promise my feelings are continuous over the real emotions.

Friday, December 21, 2012

A hard day

I woke up with a head full of dreams. As of tomorrow I'm going to start writing down everything I can remember when I wake up. It's like sitting through class without taking notes. So much thought and learning (of a sort) is lost by forgetting dreams.
I found out a high school classmate of mine died on the 18th. Josh Nelson. I didn't know him well, but he was in many of my classes, and I have a lot of memories of him. He had a very distinctive voice, and speech patterns too. In physics we were learning how to counterbalance something heavy with something light. He was our heavy. He sat in a leather harness for a long time, until he turned green and threw up on the classroom floor, at which point he was removed from his hanging position. He was a great runner, and brilliant kid as far as I knew.
It reminded me of Levi Duclos, who died over winter break last year. Again, someone I didn't know well, but who was still in my life somehow.
I can't imagine what his friends are going through.

Now I am somehow supposed to gather the courage to work on Paideia. I have been. It's going slowly but surely, I guess. I've been spinning fans to Pretty Lights "Out of Time" when I take breaks. My arms are tired but I feel myself getting closer to the -flow- that firedancers talk about.
Tonight I think we're going to the Country Fair for a solstice party. I hope that being there can clear my head.

No comments:

Post a Comment