I didn't even really try on the quantum test. Just pass me, Lucas. I didn't need to spend another hour and a half playing with your stupid symbols. It was an interesting problem, but the issue with interesting problems in quantum mechanics is that the moment you write them down in Math they lose most of their originality, and the rest you approximate away.
Well, that was this morning. I turned it in outside of his office, and then went straight to the gym. I ran for 5 minutes, walked for 5 minutes and then ran a little more but I was over it just like the Quantum exam. There was a little bit of do, but definitely no try. Thanks Yoda.
I walked home to a cold shower. My housemates bought champagne, not even Andre, a whole step up from Andre, and I drank it from a martini glass and we laughed.
I was reading over my lab report. I was constantly suprised--every sentence--that it was legible. The funniest thing happened when I was turning in my electro exam. It was bullshit hard, and after the third hour I started panicking and so I decided to cut my losses. I had stopped crying and composed myself in order to face my "professor." Walking to his office, I see my least favorite professor. I avoid eye contact very intensely. My head was turned away from him.
He says "I liked your lab report."
I stop and say "Really?"
He says "yeah..."
At which point I kind of lose my composure and barely peak my head in the door as I turn in my electro exam. I drop it on the post-doc's couch and left.
He said "all done?"
and then as I walked away trying not to cry "Have a good summer!" comes out of his stupid office.
And then I cried for a while and doubted everything and basically regressed about a month in terms of dealing with my feelings towards the department and physics as a discipline. A week ago I was ready to write a huge complaint about the least favorite professor and now it seems totally futile. They are all terrible.
So If I'm not gonna do physics with my life I guess I need new hobbies.
Post-Script I'm pretty obsessed with this song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mr4fIcvPXDA
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