When a stranger
asks me to have a drink, there is nothing there to want. I know only
one thing: the stranger is attracted to me.
When I am in bed,
and we've just had sex, and my lovers eyes trace my collarbone and a
hand follows the curve of my hip back and forth because the shape is
pleasing, I see a similar attraction. This time, however, it is
meaningful. I relish the desire; it leads to so many experiences. It
also brings my attraction out of my mind and into the world, because
until I see it in a mirror it is only a part of my imagination.
But the stranger's
desire is not reflected. It is not real. Or rather, it is caught in
uncertainty and is flailing blindly until it finds an image of
itself. In its helpless state, sometimes it catches a single shard of
mirror, or mistakes an irrelevant sunbeam for its reflection.
But one shard is
not enough. One shard is not a broken piece, but rather something
that is not anything. Two shards, however, are parts of a greater
creature. The more shards there are, the more interesting it is to
assemble them. The assembly is the crux of the adventure. And then to
look into it for a moment and relish the creation before the cracks
appear again.
The mirror I make
is concave. It has corners. It's a box, and inside it goes as deep as
I look, images of itself stacked within each other until I blink. One
shard alone is flat, and self evident.
The truth of the
matter is that attraction is not enough for me. Especially not a
monopole, but even a monopole with some extra aspects is worth it.
The hardest part of seducing someone is deciding that you want to
seduce them. And one shard is never enough.
Yeup, rehashing old
ideas but lets just call these drafts and one day I'll actually know
what I'm writing about.
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