Ca me pête les couilles.

I want to take up this phrase. It means “that farts on my balls.” Well, it technically means "that breaks my balls," but break and fart are homonyms so I'll stick with my interpretation.
It's ungraceful, but French, and so all crudeness is smoothed by soft double el's and forgotten es's. My boss calls us “choupinette” and “choupinours” depending either on our gender or on his mood, in which case we are occasionally all choupinettes. Though it makes it difficult to tell exactly who he is talking about (“go tell choupinours to come here”) it's the most endearing term of endearment that I've ever heard.

“Charlot” means fool or incapable person, which is pretty good as well. In the Matrix, when the Marovingien fairly sings an aria of French profanities, he overemphasizes the grace and misses the hilarity. Yes, they sound silly, but when they're used most effectively they're highly entertaining. The film I saw today (the one set in Washington) had French subtitles, and their filling-in of the profanity was truly inventive. They don't really have the same ones as us. Their versions of the word jackass are inumerable, but also more specific in their meaning. It makes me nervous to use them without fully understanding...

I was going to pick up “cabron” from Madrid too, but that never happened. We'll see if I can work in some colorful French. Maybe just with my French-talkin' friends and my annoying problem sets...