my thesis peaking out behind this window

I never thought too much about the idea of opening a new window. It's certainly more romantic than opening a new tab.

I'm trying to do some thesis. I'm nested in the ETC. Water, textbooks, notebooks, pens, pizza. Pizza. It's not working.

I saw Interstellar with Justin and Andrew. Someone raved about it in sci-comp the other day. The boys loved it and marveled at the science and the drama. It didn't click for me. It was too long, the characters were half-baked (maybe they were actually high that would explain a lot) and the science... well... it didn't seem a lot more real than magic. Why muddy your magic by calling it science?

Anyways, it sunk me a little that I couldn't be amazed like everyone else. Worse, it made me feel like less of a physicist, that I don't cream when general relativity plays deus ex machina and physicists play deus. Wow, harsh Jules. I just get angry when anything makes me feel like less of a physicist. Maybe that's why thesis progress is coming slow today.

I've been having amazing dreams. Yesterday in the library I dosed for 2 and a half hours, comfortably folded in an armchair. Closed eyes against closed knees. Someone dropped a piece of paper on my closed book which said "sleep is for the weak." Half-awake, I scrawled "dreaming is fucking awesome" on the other side and then started to record my dream. I had moved to New York with Amy. I was going to job interviews. For the first few I was nervous that my faux fur coats were sending the wrong impression. After many interviews, I was finally dressed in a sleek professional sheath dress, presenting myself and blowing the competition out of the water. My student consulting partner gave me a personality quiz about myself, and told me that Dobby only got one right. I walked around the office where I was interviewing and hid more quizzes about myself. I turned a corner and there were a bunch of monkeys. One of the monkeys bit my hand and I tried to yell help, but I just breathed raspily. I woke up, breathing "heh" out of my throat in the silent library. Good thing I couldn't yell.

Then last night I dreamed that Neal and I took a weird opiate. It was a tiny, crunchy black pill. I reeled around a walgreens/hardware store, unable to find what I was looking for. We rolled around in the grass. It was lovely.

Maybe I'm settled enough to do my physics now.