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I think I was excited for Pwoemrd month because it would get me back on the blog

Streumfd

^my mood

When I care about artistry, this blog is much more fun. Facebook, Doge-speak bullshit is fun if it disappears in 4 seconds, but if I'm working on a chronicle of my life it's less appropriate. I say that to other people to make them laugh. If I say it to myself, it just makes me a little embarrassed.

Trying to thesis still. It's coming along slowly. I'm not sure how 2 weeks isn't putting me in panic mode. Really it's 3 weeks, but being almost done by stop making sense would be ideal. Real talk, I'm giving my seminar presentation in 2 weeks and that's really when I need to have some data to show off.

Hopefully I buckle down tomorrow, and monday and tuesday and wednesday and can show some stuff off to Joel.

Bleh.

Women in Math and Physics brunch was today. I think that we got a good mix of advice, angst, intergenerational communication, complaining and problem solving.

But, you know, in a month I'm out.

So.

What.

sucking at pwoemrd month even though I've been looking forward to it for so long

koeurea

Tore//rent

scround

naked-light

batterfree

(w)home(some)(less)

Ok, enough for now. So self-indulgent.

life philosophy

sometimes I think anyone can make it, it's just up to luck

sometimes I think that's true, but true talent/power finds the way a little easier

sometimes I think genius is all that matters

sometimes I think that specializing is the most important thing

but I really try to be well rounded, a renaissance woman (minus the music, did davinci play? and hell, visual art is hard)

and with this attitude I am supposed to find a job and build a life.

Pwoermd Month

"April 1st, is the beginning of the cruellest month, least commonly known as International Pwoermd Writing Month (eighth incarnation)."
Today I tried to develop film from a disposable camera that expired in 2008. The pictures were too light to print.

Filmsy

I bought a new "designer sketchbook" journal

so suck on that.
btdubs alison bechedel is such an artists
btdubs italo calvino breaks my heart
btdubs sometimes I know it's not as good as it could be and I like it that way
btdubs I don't believe in good anyways
ok
whatever

during a whippit trip

something about whether or not i'm an addictive personality
and if I was a drug addict, would i get help?
and some catch 22 where whatever I did would mean something either way
not only that, but one choice would mean that it was going to go one way or the other
I would be a drug addict and not ask for help
or that I ask for help when things get bad/have a support network
then i got overwhelmed and froze and my hands looked spindly

Pro-tip: even if what happens on whippits is also terrifying, nitrous is a great escape from a panic attack.
Really just ritual helps. I lit a candle, picked out 5 canisters (only did 3)

The whole addiction thing was triggered because I said "not now" instead of talking to the friend who had triggered me, and finished a whippit.
Overreactions.