My best friend suggested that I was depressed. I think she's right. I think it intensified this summer during the illness/travel whirlwind, but probably started during the election. That's when I stopped journaling. So, some of the problems I blamed on my relationship were actually my chemical imbalances/bigger emotional issues. But, that doesn't mean that the breakup was a mistake. Can't forget that.
So I am now on a mission - touch grass and be happy. Me freaking out and doom scrolling isn't getting anyone out of detention, isn't stopping the grift and theft, and isn't spreading a love of freedom.
I still want to scope out some political organizing options. Maybe even go canvass for the election in Fresno over a weekend. But also, "make me happier" is now a sufficient justification for my actions. Spending time outside. Getting endorphins. Enjoying treats. Making new friends. Deepening my existing friendships. Throwing parties.
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