On the upswing?

My crush invited me to his birthday party, but I'll be out of town.

Crush is a strong word. I fell asleep with tears in my eyes about my breakup last night. We are in "baby steps" mode, romantically.

And my body image is a disaster. I should probably just pay for the extra gym even if I'm not getting optimal value. Gym proximity will be an extra reason to go downtown to cowork, too, which is an extra reason to meal-prep healthy food. And then, gradually, I will be able to wear all the clothes I want to again, and they will look more like I want them to. And maybe then I can work on a healthier relationship with my body.

I certainly don't hate my body like magazines and media suggest many do. I try to think of it as a given - this is my body. It's a canvas, it's a tool... I am its steward, and it is my home, like the earth is my home. We are entwined, both separate and inseparable. Destined, not chosen, our journey together defined by chance more than choice. But of course, the relationship is not just emotional and spiritual, it is physical. Sometimes my body changes and that annoys me, despite the fact that I do have some agency over those changes. 

I invited my crush on my mushroom walk tomorrow.

I was going to write about writing, reading, word-craft and imagination or something along those lines. Some other time.