I tried listening to Beck's new album and I just started crying. Not because it was good or anything, it was just written in a very sad key, a sad key to my sad lock, which once opened lets all of the tears out. The Academy would like to recognize Julia for Most Depressing Mixed Metaphor.
Speaking of the motherfucking Academy.
I passed my qual. First try and everything. But let me rephrase that: I "completed" my qual. For some reason the wording on the letter really irks me. It was not at all satisfying. Maybe when I make business cards that say Physicist on them it will feel better.
The thing is that I don't feel like a physicist for passing my qual. I feel useless because I still can't do my homework with any sort of grace. Is that what will make me a physicist? What will make this all make sense. What will make it feel okay.
Okay. It's okay.
Oh, something towards feeling like a physicist: The Junior Physics Girls (3 of us) ordered red baseball caps with "NOETHER" embroidered on the front in white letters. In that font. I think it'll be great. We will feel very good at softball practice, this much is certain.
I think I need to drop E-Chem. That's 10 hrs per week that I will get back, and more than that it is almost two full days, since E-Chem slices my Tuesdays and Thursdays in half and makes both of them less productive.
I'm just trying to function, and seeing as that is my only goal it reflects pretty poorly on me when I am failing to do that. I'm a mess.
I went on an OkCupid date and it was terrifying but he's pretty cool and interesting.
I love my friends? But they can't help me, except to let me forget about this homework that weighs on me forever.
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