This break went from stressful and immobile to building a bar in the basement and spending all night with my friends so I'm pretty okay with that now.
I almost finished reviewing Year2Semester1 which is pretty lame for how much I planned to study but pretty ok considering how much most people have done so far.
But I don't give a shit because I've been having a great time.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
Thimble
high school tunes and red lips blues
i remember who i was before i ran into you
the sound we make when we cross paths
like shivers in the ground
clenching jaws like drugs i used to taste
and remedies that broke the suspense
dipping my toes in the substance that i'm supposed to breathe through
and deciding that it's too cold
and running back to the beach
lonely while we touch and crowded in an empty bed
i confuse everyday objects for reflections of us
nights are sliced into episodes and moods
stuttering experiences that leave me in pieces
unsure of who i've been over the course of a few hours
why didn't you pick up your phone
i know you're awake
what did you think i was calling about
i just wanted to hear your voice to remember that it's not you i'm in love with
but some idea
that could stitch things back together
so that i don't have to pick up a needle and lick frayed thread
and pick little white holes into my fingers
i remember who i was before i ran into you
the sound we make when we cross paths
like shivers in the ground
clenching jaws like drugs i used to taste
and remedies that broke the suspense
dipping my toes in the substance that i'm supposed to breathe through
and deciding that it's too cold
and running back to the beach
lonely while we touch and crowded in an empty bed
i confuse everyday objects for reflections of us
nights are sliced into episodes and moods
stuttering experiences that leave me in pieces
unsure of who i've been over the course of a few hours
why didn't you pick up your phone
i know you're awake
what did you think i was calling about
i just wanted to hear your voice to remember that it's not you i'm in love with
but some idea
that could stitch things back together
so that i don't have to pick up a needle and lick frayed thread
and pick little white holes into my fingers
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
My Life in Years
1993
Born at home, in true parents-met-on-a-commune style.
1994
I would sit in the garden by the basket of blueberries and take two handfuls, assess which was better, eat that one, and then put the other back. I was a precocious statistician.
1995
Baby brother was born. Played on swingsets.
1996
Began my studies at the Waldorf school.
1997
None of my dolls had faces, used watercolors instead of fingerpaint, made bread. #waldorfschool
1998
1st grade, not much different than kindergarten. Still really into swings. First love, kisses on the monkeybars.
1999
One year sabbatical in Chile. Learn to swim in hot springs in the Andes. Take Kung Fu lessons. Make raspberry tea from rainwater, insist that drinking it will make anyone happy.
2000
2nd grade, wherein I emotionally torture my german teacher and lead a walkout on a substitute teacher. I learn to crochet but the handwork teacher does not think that I am mature enough for this fourth grade level fiber art and encourages me to unlearn it. My parents decide that the Corvallis Waldorf School has taught me enough.
2001
3rd grade: public school. I finally learn to read, write, multiply, divide, add, subtract. Feeling behind the curve for the only time until Junior year of Reed...
2002
4th grade: Playgrounds and bookreports. I spend recess playing with a skip-it and imagining elaborate tales about anthropomorphized horses.
2003
5th Grade, where I somehow have friends and we invent "Sylvania" in the corner of the playground where we collect sticks and wage war on various competing lands created by my friends when they get sick of me being dictator-for-life.
2004
6th grade. Still playing Sylvania, but this time with maps and yelling instead of sticks and running. I convince my opponent's second in command to betray him, at which point my opponent attacks me with a hula hoop during gym class and that was pretty much the end of it. I also write a 20 page Star Trek fan fiction, totally cannon. I had never heard of "fan fiction."
2005
Sabatical part deux, one year in Vufflens le Chateau, Switzerland, where I go through all of the turmoil of being 12 but in a prettier location. I also learn French, and find out that I am good at math. I kill many Sims in housefires. Become conscious of racism (I grew up in Oregon sorry.)
2006
8th grade, reverse culture shock because everyone grew up so much while I was gone.
2007
9th grade. I play Miranda in the Tempest and I am Miranda in real life.
2008
10th grade. I continue to do a lot of theatre, oblivious to the fact that the new professor is an emotionally abusive 40 year old adolescent who was in the marines for too long.
2009
11th grade. I realize that the theatre professor is emotionally abusive. Act and direct one act plays with my friends, organize a series of science lectures by professors from OSU because I worry that science classes don't actually teach science. Spend 2-4 hours per day sitting in a tree and meditating.
2010
12th grade, I have made full metamorphosis into raging bad ass, emergence from cocoon (tree) is successful. Kick ass and take names all year. Frequent 5 am drives to donut shop. Significant drama in friend group which was very formative in ways that I'm still a little uncomfortable with.
2011
Travel around Europe by myself for the summer, get to Reed and have a brilliant freshman year.
2012
Spend the summer in Madrid studying MOSFETs and spending most of my free time in the Thyssen, Reina Sofia, and Prado. Sophomore year is still fun but so much more work. I learn test anxiety and am totally dependent on my study buddy and math tutors for the second semester. Best friend decides to leave Reed.
2013
Summer in France studying mathematical models of biofilms. Read for 16hrs a day. Leave house only to see boyfriend, walk 1.5x normal speed while scowling and staring at the ground to try to avoid street harassment. Junior year at Reed is total shitshow of physics, I unlearn emotional health but I learn a lot about classical mechanics.
2014
Have more fun. More shitshow of physics.
2015
Graduate.
Born at home, in true parents-met-on-a-commune style.
1994
I would sit in the garden by the basket of blueberries and take two handfuls, assess which was better, eat that one, and then put the other back. I was a precocious statistician.
1995
Baby brother was born. Played on swingsets.
1996
Began my studies at the Waldorf school.
1997
None of my dolls had faces, used watercolors instead of fingerpaint, made bread. #waldorfschool
1998
1st grade, not much different than kindergarten. Still really into swings. First love, kisses on the monkeybars.
1999
One year sabbatical in Chile. Learn to swim in hot springs in the Andes. Take Kung Fu lessons. Make raspberry tea from rainwater, insist that drinking it will make anyone happy.
2000
2nd grade, wherein I emotionally torture my german teacher and lead a walkout on a substitute teacher. I learn to crochet but the handwork teacher does not think that I am mature enough for this fourth grade level fiber art and encourages me to unlearn it. My parents decide that the Corvallis Waldorf School has taught me enough.
2001
3rd grade: public school. I finally learn to read, write, multiply, divide, add, subtract. Feeling behind the curve for the only time until Junior year of Reed...
2002
4th grade: Playgrounds and bookreports. I spend recess playing with a skip-it and imagining elaborate tales about anthropomorphized horses.
2003
5th Grade, where I somehow have friends and we invent "Sylvania" in the corner of the playground where we collect sticks and wage war on various competing lands created by my friends when they get sick of me being dictator-for-life.
2004
6th grade. Still playing Sylvania, but this time with maps and yelling instead of sticks and running. I convince my opponent's second in command to betray him, at which point my opponent attacks me with a hula hoop during gym class and that was pretty much the end of it. I also write a 20 page Star Trek fan fiction, totally cannon. I had never heard of "fan fiction."
2005
Sabatical part deux, one year in Vufflens le Chateau, Switzerland, where I go through all of the turmoil of being 12 but in a prettier location. I also learn French, and find out that I am good at math. I kill many Sims in housefires. Become conscious of racism (I grew up in Oregon sorry.)
2006
8th grade, reverse culture shock because everyone grew up so much while I was gone.
2007
9th grade. I play Miranda in the Tempest and I am Miranda in real life.
2008
10th grade. I continue to do a lot of theatre, oblivious to the fact that the new professor is an emotionally abusive 40 year old adolescent who was in the marines for too long.
2009
11th grade. I realize that the theatre professor is emotionally abusive. Act and direct one act plays with my friends, organize a series of science lectures by professors from OSU because I worry that science classes don't actually teach science. Spend 2-4 hours per day sitting in a tree and meditating.
2010
12th grade, I have made full metamorphosis into raging bad ass, emergence from cocoon (tree) is successful. Kick ass and take names all year. Frequent 5 am drives to donut shop. Significant drama in friend group which was very formative in ways that I'm still a little uncomfortable with.
2011
Travel around Europe by myself for the summer, get to Reed and have a brilliant freshman year.
2012
Spend the summer in Madrid studying MOSFETs and spending most of my free time in the Thyssen, Reina Sofia, and Prado. Sophomore year is still fun but so much more work. I learn test anxiety and am totally dependent on my study buddy and math tutors for the second semester. Best friend decides to leave Reed.
2013
Summer in France studying mathematical models of biofilms. Read for 16hrs a day. Leave house only to see boyfriend, walk 1.5x normal speed while scowling and staring at the ground to try to avoid street harassment. Junior year at Reed is total shitshow of physics, I unlearn emotional health but I learn a lot about classical mechanics.
2014
Have more fun. More shitshow of physics.
2015
Graduate.
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