These aren't secrets, but I haven't told anyone either.
I may sound bipolar but I mostly just write about really great things or really bad things. Extremes, right?
I promise my feelings are continuous over the real emotions.

Monday, November 21, 2011

Life Slows down on a Sunday Off of Work.

Wow, it's been a long time since I logged an adventure. The logical places to go are fall break, the owl fight, Halloween, Livewire and the afterparty in my immune system (since that one was so recent), and I'm sure I'll think of others. The truth of the matter is that between mono and having more work than before, I've been too lazy to instigate many adventures. Too lazy really means asleep, reading Transmetropolitan, or, you know, working. Yes, what you just read was me admitting to READING FOR PLEASURE WHILE AT REED COLLEGE?!?!?!? Yeah, I know, it's wild. But it's really the only thing that makes me feel better. Kind of like what QC did for me last time I was totally sick. And Transmet is about a futuristic dystopian Hunter S. Thompson. So, yeah, it's mindporn.
I'll just start at fall break. I climbed mountains. I felt very strong. It's capoeira's fault, really. It gives my legs mega strength. Though aerial is giving me some mild ab strength, as I can now do an upsidown straddle with only the teensiest of jumps. Right right, awesome mountains. Yosemite is an unbelievable place. I have not seen other places like it, ever. The scale, and the shapes, and the colors. Plus the fact that for every unbelievable rock face, there was someone out there who had climbed it. Wild. I didn't push myself as hard as I should have, physically I mean, because my mind was elsewhere. Elsewhere namely being in the position of seeing a problem and being asked for input. And having something of an idea of what to do about it.
We can discuss the nature of the problem some other time, but it's unusual that a people problem can be approached from the perspective of one deeply vested in it's positive resolution, but also completely removed from the actual situation. I considered it an opportunity. I hope I helped.
Freakin' San Francisco. Man, I just kinda wandered around in a daze. It's a real city. Portland is way too new, too relaxed. SF is comfortable in its skin, but it's also a little tighter, and faster. Brighter too, but that may have been the fault of sunlight. No, actually, even when it was foggy, and windy and freezing and I was sitting on top of Buena Vista Park looking out at a massive grey cloud floating by... It was a metropolitan zone. The kickin' architecture still peaked/peeked through... Oh, and the Golden Gate Bridge. That was magical, as visual stimuli goes. So many cities, tucked into the land... Augh, I don't know what to feel, even in retrospect! Overwhelmed, I guess.
Oh, and my bald head was well loved in the city. People stopped me in the street to remark on how smokin' hot I was. That always makes me like a city better, in that superficial way that is so obviously the influence of unstable self esteem. That's why I don't hate Toulouse.
Anyways, more adventures to come.
Love.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Fall Break

Stories are piling up. I can no longer guarantee chronological order, depending on my inspiration. So, speaking of not interpreting time linearly, here is an image of a person who will always be a part of me.
Actually, fall break effected my world view significantly. I'll talk about it sometime, it's kind of emotionally charged.
But on a more relevant note, I'm still sexy with a bald head. That is the general consensus. Sample size... wink.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Saturday when the Chittick Tickle attacks with Full Force

The Chittick Tickle is when everyone at a party gets sick because they were all making out. Named for a dorm on campus, and for the sensation in one's throat after hanging out in the 'playpen' for any amount of time.
I think that I have hit a crucial moment in my social life at Reed. Before now, I had been absorbing into groups and then leaving them, because they weren't right. At this point, I have found people who I think will help me be who I want to be, make my life beautiful, have great adventures, and CHANGE THE WORLD orwhatever.  And that means suddenly I actually have to do emotional work again, and invest energy and spirit. Especially with the Chittick Tickle, it's kinda throwing me for a loop.
Just writing this because no one seems to really process what I mean when I talk about it here. They understand that it's more work or something, but I don't think anyone knows me well enough to understand how I approach this sort of business.
Regardless of added deepthinking, it's getting to be really rewarding. It's just weird trying to adjust my MO to create this long term dynamic. Anna, we talked about this before I think. My original approach is not a long term strategy. But that will change. It's not even just for now. At this point I'm getting to know everyone a little better (gotta love a tiny tiny school) and passing interaction pile up. Suddenly we know who the other person is before a real rapport forms, and that requires a different approach. I'm so used to talking to strangers, and that doesn't happen as much.


Well, that's enough introspection for one blog post. I will tell a story, one you may have already heard in some abridged format, but I want to really capture what it is before Sunday, when the missed connections come out and the nature of it is changed forever. Some things are just so much more exciting in the hypothetical.

Jason Webley, October 29th 2011 :
Sasha and I stand in line, waiting to buy tickets and a man brushes past us, excusing himself. I barely see his face.
Later, at the front of the crowd, he brushes by again (yes, his movements are very brushy, not just in the physical sweeping-contact kind of way. But mostly in that way.) He points out that this is the second time this has occurred. Sasha reminds me of the first time, as I have forgotten. For the rest of the show his group is next to ours.
Sasha and I make small talk during pauses in the show. Of course, Reed comes up, here we are, we love it, it's a huge part of life. Once and a while we get sideways glances from him. We're beautiful, these things happen.
However, my superficial analysis of these actions was misplaced!
Lucas Illings' lecture on Chaos and Network Synchronization, November 2nd 2011 :
I sit next to Hugh, because he's the only face I really recognize, as I am 10  minutes early and the other freshman don't show up until right before the presentation. We chat.
In walks (or brushes, this time not literally) a gypsy-esque man. I stare at him with a puzzled look on my face, half convinced that I am hallucinating, hoping to make eye contact and be reassured that I actually have never seen him in my life.
Instead, he looks at me and winks.
After the talk, I leave with the intention of talking to him, as two chance encounters are enough to make me curious. But he is absorbed in conversation with someone else, and it seems inappropriate to interrupt, both because I am shy and there is a mention of "my other thesis." That's just a strange and scary statement.
Hall Outside My Room, 1:30 am November 3rd 2011 :
I tell my friends about these strange encounters, and am inspired to send in a missed connection.


You: Looked like you were having fun at Jason Webley. A skilled winker is a valuable asset.
Me: Didn't want to interrupt your conversation after the physics talk, but... adventure sometime?


Then the physics majors present at our hall-party wanted to try to identify the mystery man. So I described the gypsy vibe I got from his apparel, dark hair, etc. Then I mentioned the fact that I thought he was talking about two theses when I decided not to talk to him. They placed him as a certain super-senior double major in physics and psychology, which is disturbing because I had just recently decided to not even think about double majoring in physics and sociology. The fact that people do similar things is kind of making it seem like weakness to not try. Anyways, they were all very amused that I had sent such a missed connection, as I am too. But it's kind of fun to take advantage of such circumstantial whimsy. So we'll see what happens.